Part-Time People

Everyone knows someone like this.  Someone who is your part time person.  Unfortunately, I have come across more and more of those lately. These days, I am very thankful for my good friends.  Isn’t interesting how you can lose sight of your good friends.  But like good friends, they stick by you….no matter how much time has passed.
They stick by you through divorce.  They stick by you through babies.  They stick by you through moves.  They stick by you through dating the wrong men.  And I am so thankful for that and them.
Life would not be the same without them.  To always have someone who you can laugh with, cry with and love no matter what.  My girlfriends are my rocks.  I know that I can always count on them to give me the advice no one else has the balls to tell me.  It may sting when I hear it but I know they are only looking out for me.  Not the guy of the moment.  Me.  They have that outside perspective that always has my best interest at heart.
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Coming back and re-reading this post, I realized that I went on a completely different train of thought than I wanted.  So….here we are again.
Part-time people.  Oh so many of them.  Most people live their lives with the part-time people from work and that is it.  But when I think about my past life, I realize how many part-time people really have passed through my life.  Friends who turned out not to be friends at all.  Most of the people from my hometown or school.  Sure, you run into them from time to time and say we must get together but then life gets busy and you just never do.
But when I read the above quote, what struck me about it was the guys I have “dated” recently.  I have “dated” in quotes because some I really don’t consider someone I dated.  Sure, I went on a typical date, but then they became a part-time person.  Some, you know right away that they are not for you and you have had a visit with someone you didn’t know before over coffee (and why is it, everyone wants to meet or have their first date over coffee….supper just too expensive???) and that is great.  But the ones that want to see you again, then treat you like a part-time person.  Anyone at my age that is in the dating game has a life…at least I hope they do.  So I understand that guys are busy and have other interests and when they see me they don’t fall so incredibly in love with me that all they want to do is spend every waking hour with me….yikes….if they did that I would be running as fast as I could the other way….well, maybe I would run if it was in a crazy stalker-ish kinda way.  I truly don’t expect someone to want to spend all their time with me, because I am a busy girl too between raising my daughter, work, the gym, family and friends, I keep moving….but if I was really interested in someone, I would make time for them too.  I would want to spend time with them, finding out more about them, what they are like, do they love their parents, what makes them happy.
It gets frustrating when you find someone you want to find out more about and then they don’t make the time for you.  Even as I type this, I can hear people saying “Maybe he is just not that into you”.  And maybe they are right.  I understand when someone has kids, they are the most important thing in their lives, mine is too.  I also understand that money drives a lot of people and when they have jobs other than their full time one they are busy, I have 4 other jobs too.  I would like to find that person who has the drive and determination to make it all work, including time with me.  Is that too much to ask?  I don’t think so.  This is how someone becomes that part-time person.  The person who will walk into my life, make a mark and then not have time to see if there is a future, whether it be a dating future or a friendship future.
Then there are the people who come into your life, spend time with you but only time on their terms.  Forget what interests you have.  Forget that you may want to do something.  Or the one who makes claims of what we could do and then never follows through.  They can’t be classified as part-time people because you see them enough, but part-time in the sense that they only want you for one thing.  Whether that thing is sex or to make them look thinner or make them laugh or to help them through something.
I wish I could say I would get rid of the part-time people in my life but honestly, some of them are worth it.  Even if I only get that part of them.